So today Mr. and I went to a wedding show. We saw venue booths, rentals, photographers, caterers, bakers, and spoke to a band... and Mr. was only addressed a few times... at the tux rental booth. As if the only thing that my groom is meant to do is just stand there at the altar!
Most people STILL see a wedding as an occasion for the bride not the groom or even the couple as a unit.
And that hurts my feelings. The vendors weren't the only ones giving Mr. the cold shoulder. Even our closest friends tell him that he doesn't have any say in the wedding - that I will plan it and let him know when to show up. We don't do things that way. In fact, here are some reasons why our wedding is about us, not me.
1. I need his help.
If Mr. isn't involved in the wedding process, I would be doing it all myself. All by myself. ALL BY MYSELF. nonononononononononononononono.
2. If its not about him AND I, it'll be about someone else.
Its amazing how many people want to be involved in the wedding. While its not (always) a bad thing, its still something to be cautious of. If he didn't want to be involved in the planning process, I would need someone else to help me. Then the ceremony would be about me and that person. And that person would understandably feel an attachment to the color scheme and venue that my groom lacked. It would be his/her wedding too.
Also! Weddings seem to bring out the best and worst in people. I'm confident in the people that Mr and I are going to invite but there will always be an issue. Someone said or didn't say something, did or didn't do something, ect. If my groom and I aren't on the same page, the day could be about that situation instead of him and I promising our lives to each other.
3. He cares about the occasion.
My man would walk away from the venue if he saw that it was covered in pink glitter. The guy would leave me at the altar and we would start over. Not kidding. And I couldn't blame him too much. The entire ceremony commemorates our new life together, we should both be represented. Mr. probably doesn't care too much about EVERY detail but he certainly has preferences - and honestly, I don't think that I care about every detail...
4. What is the point?
I understand that traditionally, the wedding was about the father of the bride handing her over to the groom. However, modern culture has redefined the point of throwing a wedding. Planning this huge event can be a real test for the relationship before it becomes legally binding. A friend once told me that I needed to go on a canoe trip with my partner before we got married. If you can canoe with someone for several days, you can do anything else with that person. Mr. YBE and I do not have a canoe (and he isn't very outdoorsy) so working together now is our "canoe trip." We will be treading water together when the thing tips over...
So hopefully the comments will die down about this being my wedding instead of our wedding, but I know on some level that I'll have to accept it. Or maybe only chew out a select few!
See you next week, XOXO,
Miss YBE
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