Telling Our Friends and Family: How I Messed it Up.

I have been engaged for 12 amazing days. I should still be squealing with excitement, right? Right? Unfortunately squealing is only fun when there are other people to squeal with.

And right now you're thinking, "But your Young, Broke, and Engaged. HOW COULD THEY NOT BE EXCITED AND SHOCKED?" I'll reply with, "Because they weren't surprised."

Okay. Some people were definitely surprised but now one close enough to have heard me talk about my boyfriend (now fiance) and how much I wanted to get engaged. They must've been thinking that I finally talked him into it or something. (He swears this isn't the case.) So instead of our closest friends and family thinking that this is was beautiful and shocking (it definitely was) they thought that it was about time.

The other people that would have screamed and danced around with me were already there when it happened. Can't break the news about something they've already seen!

PLEASE LEARN FROM ME. I talked about my promising relationship wayy too much for people to enjoy and squeal this special moment for me.

"BUT YBE, everyone must've been surprised because of your age!"

That isn't the case either. In Small Town, USA, 20 is the perfect age to promise yourself to your high school sweetheart. In fact! I wasn't even the 5th person in my graduating class to get engaged. Now I find myself clumped into the rest of the people that others complain about... "Everyone on my Facebook feed is either getting married and having babies." Yup. That's me.

Now don't think that I'm not excited about marrying my lovely fiance, because I definitely am. Instead of doing happy dances with everyone I've ever met, I'll just enjoy the bliss before the madness of wedding planning begins.

Besides, its me that is getting married, not everyone else.

I Love my FAKE Engagement Ring

The fiance and I agreed to pick out my engagement ring together so that we could find something to match our eventual wedding bands. He, however, wanted a "token" engagement ring to give me when he proposed. We talked about engagement rings before the proposal and I had (apparently) a weird request.

I wanted a fake and cheap engagement ring. 

If you are anything like my family, then please wipe that look off your face. I will explain.

1. THE PRICE

Fiance and I do not own a home, we share one car, and we have a pathetic savings account for a real wedding. Putting several thousand dollars into a piece of jewelry is not a practical option for us. Why start a beautiful marriage with MORE debt?

2. OOOUUUCHHH

Did you know that couples have to insure their rings? The idea of wearing something so valuable on my hand (the hand that I use to clean a litter box and shampoo my hair) physically hurts me. Even rings that look very expensive make me feel like a person that I don't want to be. I don't want to allow other people to make assumptions about me and my fiance based on a piece of jewelry.

3. I TRUST HIM

If my ring were to break (and a malfunction did cause a stone to come loose...) I know that my man will replace it. The even BIGGER reason than that... I trust that his love and commitment isn't measured in the money he's invested in me.

Hopefully this all makes sense... It really meant a lot to me that he did not spend more than $50 on my ring. This is a ring that he bought me as my "token"

http://amzn.to/1PdyZzI

Its quite a bit more sparkly (and expensive looking) than I wanted but Mr. picked it out all by himself with my request and hints over the past few months. That means so much to me. Also, the scroll detail on the side is SO BEAUTIFUL! We will eventually buy something else to match our bands and at that point, we might return this one or not.

I love this ring because my fiance picked it out and I don't have to fear that price tag on my finger, that's amazing to me.

Why Get Engaged When Young and Broke?

I know that I wouldn't be doing proper justice to this blog if I didn't address this obvious question. In fact, when my FIANCE (still not used to that...) told his best friend his immediate reaction was "Why?" Although I wasn't happy, I have to understand that 20 year olds don't usually get engaged without a father holding a shotgun to the boyfriend's head to defend his prego daughter's dignity.

The Dating Situation:

The Mr. and I have been dating since I was 16 so we've gotten to grow up together. We moved to a strange city together when I was 18. So I think that we've had enough challenges to ensure that we'd work well together in the long term. We've lived together, moved together, adopted animals together, been to weddings and funerals together, and been to the hospital together. He's an amazing support and we've definitely learned how to communicate with each other.

The Complicated Situation:

I have a... strained relationship with my blood family. My father is deceased and I am not incredibly close to my mom. With this in mind, I have spent most holidays with my partner's family. I feel very connected to my future in-laws and it really ate at us that I was still an outsider. It meant a lot to me to share a name with my family of choice.

The Money Situation:

My fiance and I are both college students. He will graduate in a few months with a Computer Science degree and may end up working IT. I will graduate a few months before we wed in 2017 to become a teacher the next fall. We will never be wealthy. Our parents aren't wealthy. It doesn't make sense to spend $15,000 on a wedding that will put us all in debt. As much as I'd love to elope, sharing this moment with our closest friends and family means a lot to us. So... a real wedding is in our future.


So! I hope this answers some questions. I will post soon about my lovely engagement ring and how much I love having a fake ring.

XOXO,

YBE