You're Very Sweet... But I Don't Want You to Pay for My Wedding.

I know that when people offer to "help out" with wedding costs they are doing so out of the kindness of their hearts but I really cannot accept.

I've always had an issue with being offered handouts but where a wedding is concerned its a REAL issue. Never in my life have I borrowed money that I felt good about. If I had trouble paying bills, I would sell some of my clothes and gadgets. Why would I want to borrow money for the ceremony that says that I'm old enough to get married?

The fiance and I are planning to pay for the wedding ourselves. There might be help from my mother for the traditional things (dress, ect.) but mostly this is our affair. We always wanted a small wedding (and I'm quite partial to eloping) so having something small and intimate is at the top of our wishlist.

Because the wedding will be small, we will not be inviting everyone we've ever met. The only friends (and distant family) invited will be the ones that we both share memories with already. If people only I know or he knows tries to give us money it would be like they're buying a ticket to the most beautiful day of our lives. And that makes me cringe. I care very deeply about me friends and "once-I-knew-ya"s but this isn't just MY wedding. It's a union of me and my fiance and the life we're building together (and that includes the people we surround ourselves with).

Our wedding is be extra beautiful because we WORKED for it. We are picking up new jobs and making decorations. I don't think it would mean as much if we "sold tickets" and missed out on this opportunity to work together.

With 18 months to save and spend, we can do it. Right?

Telling Our Friends and Family: How I Messed it Up.

I have been engaged for 12 amazing days. I should still be squealing with excitement, right? Right? Unfortunately squealing is only fun when there are other people to squeal with.

And right now you're thinking, "But your Young, Broke, and Engaged. HOW COULD THEY NOT BE EXCITED AND SHOCKED?" I'll reply with, "Because they weren't surprised."

Okay. Some people were definitely surprised but now one close enough to have heard me talk about my boyfriend (now fiance) and how much I wanted to get engaged. They must've been thinking that I finally talked him into it or something. (He swears this isn't the case.) So instead of our closest friends and family thinking that this is was beautiful and shocking (it definitely was) they thought that it was about time.

The other people that would have screamed and danced around with me were already there when it happened. Can't break the news about something they've already seen!

PLEASE LEARN FROM ME. I talked about my promising relationship wayy too much for people to enjoy and squeal this special moment for me.

"BUT YBE, everyone must've been surprised because of your age!"

That isn't the case either. In Small Town, USA, 20 is the perfect age to promise yourself to your high school sweetheart. In fact! I wasn't even the 5th person in my graduating class to get engaged. Now I find myself clumped into the rest of the people that others complain about... "Everyone on my Facebook feed is either getting married and having babies." Yup. That's me.

Now don't think that I'm not excited about marrying my lovely fiance, because I definitely am. Instead of doing happy dances with everyone I've ever met, I'll just enjoy the bliss before the madness of wedding planning begins.

Besides, its me that is getting married, not everyone else.